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Beating the School Run Blues
Ah the morning school run: that unavoidable duty characterised by whingeing and pestering in equal parts. A recent report in the UK has found that the school run is a health hazard (mainly due to...
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Ponder on: THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
Babette Cole Last time the ol’ birds and the bees question piped up, the conversation went something like this: TWIN 1: Mum, the lambs are gone. ME: What? TWIN 2: What? (gasp!) The lambs are gone. ME:...
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The Pooper Pages
Does anyone find those health and beauty newspaper supplements in the paper slightly crock ridden and completely guilt ridden. I have variously renamed them the guilty-envy pages, the party pooper...
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HOLESOME FUN (AND A FRIENDLY OLD BUM)
Ever since I had a tantrum about my children relying too heavily on screens for occupation and not developing imaginations (“Your brains have gone all mushy, I’m not sure they’ll ever recover”), I...
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The Dolly Varden Debacle
For about a year, my smallest has insisted on a ‘Barbie cake’ (AKA Dolly Varden). In fact she’s wanted one since last birthday when she got lame cupcakes and consulted the Women’s Weekly Birthday Cake...
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Pondering On: CHRISTMAS
So Christmas isn’t my very favourite time of the year. I guess that was evident when I posted this song about this time last year. I know, I’m just an old humbug with no spirit (except a bit a gin and...
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DEAR ENGLISH
Dear English, I’ve been thinking about you quite a bit lately. It’s been a big year for you and me as I teach my older children the inner workings of you. And I’m pleased to report that I think the...
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DEAR FATHER CHRISTMAS
Dear Father Christmas, So it’s been a long time since I asked you for anything. I think the last time would have been along the lines of a twirly curl Barbie and a broken arm please. (I was desperate...
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CATCHING UP WITH THE NEW YEAR
Dear 2014, Hello and welcome! I know I’m a bit late with my salutations – heck, you’ve almost been around for a whole month and I’ve ignored the crap out of you. Sorry about that. Here are my excuses:...
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THE HOLLERDAYS ARE OVER
There’s surely a lot of intelligent things to say about the love-hate relationship parents (ok, I) have with school holidays (re-named hollerdays on account of me having to be being a bit shouty at...
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PLATINUM DAYS, WITH DIAMONDS
Tonight my children asked me to tell them a story instead of reading one. So I just started off without thinking, just to see where the story went and where we might all end up. “Once upon a time,...
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I LOST MY SHIT ON INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY
I lost my temper today; really, door-bangingly, pencil throwingly lost my shit. And now I feel like a baddie. I’m pretty sure my son daydreamed Batman into the scene to rescue them all from the brand...
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Happy Happy Day
This afternoon when I met my children at the bus stop, my daughter said, “I loved today Mum”. “That’s great,” I said, “Why was today so good?” “Because I grew a pumpkin and I picked it and here it is...
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WORKING MUMS ARE INCREDIBLE
So my brain almost exploded yesterday. Honestly, it did. There was almost a terrible mess in the kitchen and all over three traumatised children. I had to have a little head-down moment in the plastics...
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The Business of Busyness
I’ve been really busy lately, I’m building a house, so yep, busy. Brain progress is brilliant on door furniture (knobs), painting, cornice etc, but current events extend as far as, “Cement truck visits...
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Super Loon
You know the holidays have been a bit shit when the highlight has been a trip to the dentist and by the end of week one you wish someone would send you to your room. Actually that’s not strictly true....
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Hey Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum, Muuuuuuuuum.
Here are three habits my children have got into that are quite adorable for the first little while, then really bloody annoying thereof: 1) Hey Mum, watch this. It plays out like this:- I am in the...
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CATERPILLAR MOMENTS
Today I had a moment. I was sitting at my daughter’s dance practice holding a balloon and a grass caterpillar and it dawned on me that (what feels like) just the other day I was sitting at the uni bar...
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Things That Get Me Through
I am living through possibly the busiest time of my life. We’re about to move out of one house (and leave it in a civilized state) whilst trying to finish another house that we’ve built to move into,...
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BACK TO COOL
So school’s back in tomorrow, which means that I might be able to keep my cool for longer than two days. Two days being about the longest time between some small person doing something to warrant an...
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